Grey Online (and Offline) Dating

Nan Bauer-Maglin is developing a new anthology, Grey Online (and Offline) Dating When You Are Over 60, 70, & 80: Our Stories (working title). Nan is the editor of Widows’ Words: Women Write on the Experience of Grief, the First Year, the Long Haul, and Everything in Between, which includes my essay "10 Scary Things I Have Done Since My Husband Died."

Nan has put out a call for Grey Online essays: details below.

Deadline for proposals: January 15, 2020.

If you’re frowning, perplexed, and saying out loud, “Debby whut are you thinkin??? Online dating, are you kidding?” etc. please read Nan’s note, below, where you’ll see that she’s casting a wide net, to women and men, gay and straight, from diverse backgrounds—economically, racially, culturally—with dating experiences comic and tragic.

Maybe you know someone who could write about this.

Feel free to copy and paste Nan’s note and send it far and wide, post on social media, etc. 

Me, I have nothing to say about online dating, elder or otherwise, but I’m writing and editing up a storm, and will be in touch.


Grey Online (and Offline) Dating When You Are Over 60, 70, & 80: Our Stories (working title)

Call for contributions to an anthology about older dating

Coeditors: Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel E. Hood

I didn’t think I’d be dating in my 80s. My guy, pushing 90, is even older than me. . . When we’re not together, we’re on the phone, worried when one of us gets sick, more worried than we were when we were young — and immortal. From “My Nearly 90-Year-Old Boyfriend” by Phyllis Raphael (“tiny modern love stories,” NY Times)

Put simply, now that you’re past 50, dating is a different experience than it was when you were in your 20s or even your 30s. You’ve changed, the culture has changed, and who you’re looking for is likely to be quite different as well….Online dating isn’t for everyone, but it’s where the people are. Millions of them, in fact. And the fastest-growing group among them is people over 50. From "Dating After 50 For Dummies" by Pepper Schwartz

The older online dating cohort is a growing demographic. “The desire for companionship has led many older adults who are single, divorced or widowed to sign up for online dating,” reported NPR's Morning Edition.

We want to publish your story: from contemplating going online (or deciding not to), to exchanges online, to first dates, to the development of a relationship (or not), and all the baggage, excitement, and disappointment around such an experience.

Because you are over 60 (or 70 or 80), how is this different from when you dated as a younger person?

What issues do older daters confront?

We are looking for contributors who are men and women, straight and gay, from diverse backgrounds—economically, racially, culturally. We seek a variety of voices, tones (comic to tragic), genres, perspectives, and experiences.

While we are looking primarily for personal narratives, some analysis within the narrative can be included. Historical or sociological pieces are welcome. Write in an accessible voice. Writing with another person or persons in dialogue or as an interview is also welcome.

Some topics to consider (always in the context of age and relationships):

Good/bad online experiences/funny/learning/dangerous experiences

Choosing to go it alone/rejecting online dating

Online and offline dating after being widowed; dating after divorce or during separation

Ghosting, lying, inflation, and other online behavior

Differences in male and female experiences

Same-sex online dating

Issues particular to older daters: economic, health, sexuality, the weight of the past   

Family reactions

Compare different online sites: general, elder, targeted and specialty

Preferably by January 15, send us a one-to-two-page description of what you are interested in writing (cc. both of us). Include a few sentences about your previous publications.

Please forward this call to family, friends, and colleagues.
Nan Bauer-Maglin                                                      Daniel E. Hood
nan.bauermaglin99@ret.gc.cuny.edu                    dan.hoo42@gmail.com