Monday, April 28, 2014

Chapter 23 / Lipstick / rewrite


In which I revise Chapter 23 to make it more pertinent to the novel, and move the story along. But I keep the same title . . . 

“Nice wheels,” said Jaime, circling Annie’s new car. “What is it again?”

“A Lexus. Hop in, I’ll take you for a spin.” 

“Let’s go to Random Salad! I’ll get my wallet.”  

Jaime went back into her house, and Annie adjusted her sunroof. She loved adjusting the sunroof, and she loved this perfect May day with air so sweet you could grab handfuls of it and everything in bloom, from skunk cabbage in the swamps to apple blossoms in the orchards. Chloe jumped into the front seat and Annie returned her to the back, carefully covered by Orvis, and gave her a dog biscuit to stay there. With the luxury of a weekday off, she and Chloe had been looking for a friend to take along for the ride.

“It smells new,” said Jaime, inside the car. “I thought somebody died in this car.” 

“That was the Toyota pick-up. Father Paul has blessed Lipstick in case she had bad vibes. And she is practically new. It took three auctions, but she’s worth it.” 

“I never thought I’d see you in a four-door sedan.” 

“I could trade it in for something else, but it has a standard shift and it’s red. I never thought I’d own a red car in my life. Plus the low mileage. A little old lady drug dealer must have owned it.” 

Pues. Did they have any Subaru Legacys?”

“That might be a stretch. But if you need a pick-up, they have lots of trucks.”

Annie focused on turning onto the road for Random Salad and then said, “So, what’s the dirt?” Jaime was always good for some gossip.

Jaime shrugged. “You have a boyfriend who bought you a car.” 

“—You’re kidding! People talk about this?” Annie felt herself start to flush.

“And your car is nicer than your bosses’. 

“They can afford new ones!” 

Annie heard herself, defensive. Last week, when she had driven Lipstick to work for the first time, everyone had come out into the parking log to look at her car. They just stood up and walked out—production first, then the ad guys, and finally editorial. They admired the gleam of the finish, the sunroof, the four cup holders. It had been another fine May day, and no one had gone inside until the phone rang. Tina had looked like a thundercloud.   

“Seriously,” said Jaime, “what’s the deal? How do you feel? Are you OK with this?”

“The deal is, there is no deal. He puts his money where his mouth is. I desperately needed a car. Andrew said, leasing a car is a bad idea. I will buy you a good car, at an auction. It happened. 

“If anything feels odd, it’s that: I have a problem. He solves it. Did I tell you the latest? Andy and Carlos drove the car up. I was still at work, so they took a walk to look at the view. 

“Remember Tom, the guy with the obnoxious Labradors that always spoiled our walks? Well, the next day, Tom started installing one of those underground electric fences. I said to Andy, ‘What did you say to him?’ He was vague. He said, ‘We said “hello.”’”

“Is it like dating the Godfather?”

“I’m trying to think of what to sic him on next.” 

Jaime thought for one beat. “The town board.”

“Excellent. But to answer your question . . . no one’s ever solved my problems before, and I never expected it, and I don’t expect it now, but if someone offers . . . do I have to say no?”

“Well, if you put it that way . . . no. And if you break up, the car is still yours?”

“Everything’s in my name. Including the damned cell phone. He just pays for them. Or somebody pays for them. A law firm in New York handles his money. An accountant writes his checks, so he won’t forget. I wish someone would write my checks.” 

“And this law firm was OK with his buying a car for some woman upstate.” 

“Apparently. I think if he had wanted to buy me a red Lamborghini there would have been a meeting. And perhaps a return to residential treatment. But five thousand bucks was well within the budget.”

“Well,” said Jaime. “Pues.” 

Pues indeed. Is he buying me? He doesn’t ask anything in return. Not anything I wouldn’t give him anyway, even if I were leasing a car.” 

“You’re still not sleeping together?”

“No.” 

“Amazing,” said Jaime. “And smart,” she added quickly.

On a quiet weekday at Random Salad, Katrina, the owner, was at the cash register and Tessa, her right-hand person, was stocking shelves. They stopped what they were doing and came out to look at Annie’s car. 

“Your boyfriend bought you this?” said Tessa. “Cool!”

“Second hand,” said Annie. “At a car auction.”

“Doubly cool!”

After shopping, Annie and Jaime sat at a table on the porch with coffee and scones and Chloe. 

“He likes Chloe?” said Jaime, who was a cat person and tolerated Chloe because the dog was catlike. 

“He’s dated before, Jaime. Married once. Had a compañera in Cuscútlan. He has some understanding of women. He sees that Chloe is part of the package.”

“So,” said Jaime, relishing the subject, “the question is, what is he getting out of this? No sex. We live in a godforsaken Republican backwater where everything closes before dark. He doesn’t garden, or even drive. I mean, you’re cute, Annie, but . . .”

“He likes to go dancing at the No-Name. Last weekend Vikki and the band let him solo on ‘I Can See Clearly Now.’

Jaime frowned slightly, perplexed. 

“Johnnie Nash. 1970s. We love that stuff. Andy set it down an octave. He has a great voice, and he looked . . .” Annie gazed past the parking lot to the field where Katrina grew some of the produce she sold . . . “happy.

“But I have two theories,” she said, looking back at Jaime. “The project theory . . . in the ’80s, Cuscutlan was his project. In the ’90s, it’s Annie. I asked him, and he said no, that wasn’t the case. But what is he going to say, ‘Yes dear, you’re my Liza Doolittle.’” 

“Maybe he’s ready to be truly altruistic. I mean, you’re not going to win him a Pulitzer. Are you?”

Annie shrugged, making her eyes big. 

“What’s the other theory?”

“The story theory . . . for Andrew, everything—almost everything—is story. He meets me, and a new story begins. So he follows it, to see what will happen. How the story will unfold.” 

“—Until he finds a new story. Annie, that’s sad.” 

“Right now, it’s interesting. And he wouldn’t do it if he didn’t like me, Jaime, it’s not all theoretical.” 

“You guys are nuts.” 

“Yup.” 

Copyright (c) 2014 Debby Mayer


Thursday, April 17, 2014

In another author's words . . .


Dear Readers, 

I almost have that next chapter ready. In the meantime, here is George Held's review of my memoir, "Riptides," published this month in Wilderness House Literary Review, an online quarterly with an annual "best of" print edition. I stand here amazed, to be discussed in the company of Camus and Goya. 

Rev. of Debby Mayer, Riptides & Solaces Unforeseen  
(Rhinebeck: Epigraph Publishing, 2013).  
Paper; 245 pp. $14.95. 
review by George Held 
Dying 
With ever more Americans caring for ailing parents, spouses, and 
partners, and even more requiring medical care at spiraling costs, 
Debby Mayer has written a book that will grip its readers by the shoulders and compel their attention from beginning to end. In Riptides & Solaces Unforeseen she tells the sobering story of the decline of her partner, Dan Zinkus, from diagnosis to death from brain cancer, from early May to late August 2002. 

This is difficult material for a writer to handle without self-pity, undue self-consciousness, or even turning maudlin, but Mayer, a novelist and journalist, is as fit for the task as Albert Camus for telling his catastrophe story The Plague. In fact, Mayer’s tautly controlled style and spare use of modifiers brings Camus to mind, and her book has all the understated tension and suspense that enhance his novel. Thus when explaining why she doesn’t “feel singled out” by misfortune, she recalls two high-school friends who died in accidents and says of their funerals, her first, “I can still see the faces of their mothers. One could keep her chin up. The other had to be helped from the church.” These three masterful sentences have no more than nine words apiece, and only “faces,” “mothers,” and “other” contain more than one syllable. These sentences have no qualifiers other 
than “the” and the personal pronouns “their” and “her”; the middle 
sentence consists of only six monosyllables. This sort of terse, measured writing allows readers to draw their own conclusions, invoke their own emotions about facing death. 

That is, Mayer tells how she faced the death of her life partner and 
gives insight into how Dan, 56, faced his own death, when he was clear- headed enough to do so in the course of his debilitating illness and the battery of medications he took to allay its symptoms. Once a physically fit, good-humored, exacting man, he fights the good fight against an inexorable killer, and Mayer touchingly but unflinchingly shows him deteriorating, “his symptoms get[ting] worse every day.” Facing surgery, he must 
struggle to sign the consent form: “Dan takes the pen, stares at the paper another couple of minutes, and then begins to sign his name. This takes an additional minute as his traditionally tight dollop of a signature wanders, wavering, across the entire sheet of paper.” The strain in performing this normally simple act signals decline but completing it  also represents a small victory, maybe one of the “unforeseen solaces” of the book’s title. 

But all victories in the battle against terminal cancer are pyrrhic, and however resourceful Mayer proves in getting Dan the best treatment available in the Hudson River Valley, where they live, she can never be sure that it is the best treatment, and she offers a number of vignettes of medical incompetence that might have goaded Goya into illustrating them in  a series of ironic drawings. In the race between caregiver and death, there is only one winner, Mayer learns, and she teaches us how she ran the race even though, she tells a concerned friend after Dan dies, “‘I’ve been alone 
since May 30 [when he was hospitalized], it’ll be the same, only different.’” As a close friend puts it, “the transition’s been going on all summer.” 

In fact, Riptides is a narrative about and a meditation on dying, that which everyone, sooner or later, experiences oneself or in the loss, sudden or slow, of a dear one. In Mayer’s case, she loses the love of her life in four months. Fast or slow?—you be the judge. Mayer will let you be. She takes 245 pages to tell her tale of loss. Too short or too long?—you be the judge. 

I’d say it’s just right: short enough to avoid melodrama or obscurity, long enough to flesh out Dan’s and her stories to most readers’ satisfaction. “Satisfaction” might be a strange word to use in this case, but because Mayer is an artist and has written personal nonfiction that reads like a novel, she leaves readers with that elusive sense of catharsis only art can provide.
Copyright (c) 2014 George Held

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Persimmon Tree

Dear Readers, 
The next chapter of my untitled novel requires more thought! 
While I'm thinking, here is the new, Spring 2014 issue of Persimmon Tree, an online magazine. 
Not incidentally, I have an ad for my memoir, Riptides & Solaces Unforeseen, in the Arts Mart, mentioned below, in this issue. Check it out; Riptides is the third book on the list, with lots of great compliments. 
And do check out Persimmon Tree. In a happy coincidence, Andrew and Annie are off stage being activists, while the activism issue of Persimmon Tree is just published. 
And I have learned to add links to my blog. Easy!
And I learned this quote from Alice Walker: "Activism is the rent I pay to live on the planet."
Debby

From Persimmon Tree:
Dear Readers,

What an active bunch you are!  When we asked for pieces about politics and activism, we received story after story. Civil rights and civil disobedience; anti-war and pro-feminism; working with prisoners; sheltering undocumented families, among others. Go to www.persimmontree.org to be inspired.

The whole Spring issue is about activism, which means not only fiction and nonfiction, but Art (in-your-face posters from the Guerrilla Girls), chilling poetry from Martha Collins, and an interview with Lilly Rivlin about making feminist documentaries. Lots of Short Takes, both prose and poetry. So much to read, so much to admire.

Please spread the word. Tell your friends that reading persimmontree.org is a political act in itself.

The Poetry contest for the Southern States is now open; check the submissions page for the rules. Think about entering the Short Takes contest ("Summer" for the Summer issue); the deadline for both contests is April 15.

And check out the Arts Mart for offerings from our community.

The Editors
Persimmon Tree
persimmontree.org

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Chapter 25 / Gifts


“What are you doing!” Andrew had heard himself shout, as Annie steered left across oncoming traffic. 
“Strawberries!” she said. “Mrs. Shortcake is open!”
And in fact, half of the oncoming cars were turning right, parking scattershot around two big tables set up just off the side of the road. Behind the tables was a battered painted sign, Shortcake Farms.
“Quick,” said Annie, “before they’re gone. We’ll buy two. Choose one.”
The berries all looked the same to him, which was to say perfect, small—no California Chernobyl berries here—and uniformly ripe with their little green hats. Annie was talking to a plump, bespectacled woman who put cash into a cigar box. Andrew observed the rhubarb, wondering if they should buy some of that too, but then you had to cook it, and he put a strawberry in his mouth, and stopped. He chewed it slowly, turning the berry, and its generous juice, over in his mouth. Summer, the berry said. This is going to be the best summer of your life. 
He ate another one, then woke up again to the strawberry table. “Did we buy this?” he said to Annie. 
“Yes,” she said. “One to eat, one to freeze.” 
“What are you going to eat?” he said. Annie twinkled and the woman laughed outright. 
“Mrs. Kaminski, this is my friend Andrew,” said Annie, and Mrs. Shortcake reached out and shook his hand. My friend Andrew. She would have known Ed, only months ago, and now here was Annie, already with a boyfriend.
“They’re quarts, Andy.”
“We pick every morning now, for at least a couple of weeks,” said Mrs. Kaminsky. 
“—We’ll take one more,” said Andy. He gave Mrs. Kaminsky a ten and she gave him back a one and a five. He stared. Two quarts of strawberries cradled in his left arm, and six dollars in his right hand. “I’ve gone to heaven,” he told her, and this time she just smiled. 
“Some summer days,” she said, “it does seem like heaven here.”   
“And Annie’s house rental comes with some possible trouble?” Back in Warren’s office on an overcast Monday in New York, Warren has opened the container and paused over the sweet smell of summer that wafts from it. He has chosen a strawberry and offered them to Andrew, who hesitated, then took one. “I’ll bring you more next week,” he says. They savor their strawberries companionably, and then Warren puts the stem back into the container and offers it to Andrew, who shakes his head. “I eat the top too,” he said. “It tastes so . . . green.” 
“There’s something I should tell you,” Annie had said. 
Andrew put aside his newspaper. “That’s my line.” 
“Seriously,” she said. 
He folded his hands, waited. They had put chair cushions on the outdoor deck so they could sit in the sun, side by side, with their backs against the wall of the screened-in porch and their legs stretched out in front of them. Next to Annie, Chloe lay on her side, for maximum sun exposure. 
Annie told him about the Truro house reservation that had come in the mail last fall, paid for by Ed, without his telling her. 
“He didn’t do things like that, surprise you?” 
“Not on that scale,” she said. “Not ever.” 
“Was he seeing a shrink?”
“No, why?”
“Oh, a shrink might have told him to do that.” 
“No. It might have been a good idea for him to see a shrink, but he wasn’t. But also . . .”  
And she had told him about the photo she had found, the color printout of the naked boy, at the bottom of Ed’s pile of papers. He noticed that she looked him in the eye, with her beautiful green eyes, most of the time while she described this, which made him love her even more, which he doesn’t say to Warren, figuring that Warren knows it anyway. 
And Andrew didn’t know quite what to make of it, but mostly he thought that Ed, being dead, should be left alone. The two pieces of news grieved him, for Ed, and for Annie, but there were ways of looking at them . . . 
“You know men are dorks,” he said. 
“Yes,” she said. 
“And the Internet offers you this whole world of stuff to look at.” 
“—I guess.” 
“I’ll show you some time. You should learn how to do it anyway, for work.” 
“Do you look at porn?”
“—No, but that doesn’t make me a good person, just a medicated person. Who’s never been into kid porn. Who we’re not talking about right now, for a change, we’re talking about you.” 
“He printed it out. He left it where I would find it, once he was gone.” 
Still angry. A good step, but he didn’t want her to stay there. 
“Come closer,” he said, and then he helped her, he gathered her up and held her on his lap. Chloe moved to sit in back of Annie, between his legs. He was covered with them then, these two females, and he could not have been happier, except that she could be happier, and all he could say was, “I don’t know. I wish I could give you a nice, confident reason, but I can’t. 
“You could be like me, and spend the rest of your life trying to figure out why people who purport to love you also slay you, mentally. Or, you could move on. Or, this is severe enough that you might want to talk to someone about it, someone who knows something, not your friend Andrew, who knows nothing except that Ed did love you.” 
She stiffened in his arms. “You don’t know that.” 
“I do. You can be furious with him for a lot of reasons, but not for not loving you.” 
In New York, Andrew and Warren have two minutes left of their time. 
“What do you think?” asks Warren, about Annie’s house in Truro. 
“I think it’s a gift. He meant it for the two of them, then left it to her.” Andrew looks away, to his right, past Warren’s desk, toward the wall of books beyond it. “I think he knew he was going. Just from things she’s said. So he left her, what would have been, for him, a gift. I don’t expect any trouble.” 
Copyright © Debby Mayer

Monday, February 10, 2014

Chapter 24 / The Taj Mahal


“I’ll miss one week, Warren,” says Andrew. “Two appointments.”
“You know the contract,” says Warren. They sit as usual in Warren’s office, facing each other in slightly but not completely comfortable chairs. 
“I haven’t missed one single appointment. I called you from fucking Waco.” 
“Were you going to call me from Truro?”
Andrew pretends to think for a moment, then says what he had already decided, which Warren knew that he had already decided. 
“No. Truro for one fucking week in July is my vacation. Truro for four fucking weeks in August is your vacation.”   
“Right. Five consecutive weeks. Ten appointments.” 
“Were you going to call me from Truro?”
They sit in silence then for a moment, almost companionably, knowing that Warren will not dignify that with an answer. 
“OK,” says Andrew, “let’s back up. A woman that I’m—I—care for deeply, that I’ve been dating for six months without sleeping with, that I’ve talked to almost every day, asks me if I’d like to go to this—seaside resort—with her. She doesn’t ask me to dig latrines with her in Cuscatlán or watch people die with her in Waco, she asks me to go with her to a nice house, in a part of the world that’s at least superficially civilized. She has one week, Saturday to Saturday, to get out of her own difficult life and she asks me to join her in that endeavor.
“And that’s not all. While this week at the sea shines in the distance for both of us like . . . the Taj Mahal, she is also . . . worried about it, uncomfortable with it. She doesn’t quite know what might happen there. And so she, thinking of me as a friend, has described her fears to me and has asked me to help her, if it becomes necessary.” 
Warren allows his face to show curiosity with this turn in the conversation. He is aware that Andy remains seated during this argument, his eyes on Warren’s. He hasn’t stood up and walked around as he usually does when working out something difficult. And Warren has a flash of thought that he will miss Andy when he, Andy, is gone, not for five summer weeks—while Andy has done well this year, other patients have not, and Warren, exhausted, wishes that August 1 were tomorrow—he will miss Andy when he finishes therapy, which, with any luck for Andy, will be in a couple of years. Before the advent of this argument, he had been thinking that in July he would tell Andy that after August, he should think about going to once a week.
“I can tell you about that if you want,” Andy has continued, “but let me finish my thought. So, since she really wants me to accompany her, she asks me in advance—even though she knows I will then think of it obsessively—she doesn’t say ‘hey, I’m going to Cape Cod tomorrow, do you want to come along,’ she asks me in advance so I can act responsibly toward my job and my shrink.” He bites off the last five words.  
“The point of the story is, I said yes immediately, as if I were an adult and could make my own decisions. And I’m not backing out. I don’t want to call you. If you fire me, I’ll get the meds somewhere else.” 
Warren’s face is impassive again, as he records mentally the change in Andy’s eyes, from direct to angry. But hearing I don’t want to, instead of I won’t, Warren asks if the radio station is OK with this. 
“Yeah. They told me I could take a week off after Waco and I didn’t, because the Mississippi was flooding. They’re sorry the Clintons won’t be in Martha’s Vineyard yet, but I’m saved, they won’t be. To tell you the truth, Warren . . .” Andy looks aside for a moment, then back to Warren. “I could use a vacation. Time to clear my brain.” 
“That’s the idea with August. You have four weeks off.” 
“And I’ll probably work the whole time. And the house rental is the last week in July and it can’t be changed. You know that. 
“Warren, for Christ’s sake, be happy for me, will you? This is the best thing to happen to me since . . . since she asked me if I liked to dance. 
“Here. I brought you something.” 
Andy is opening his briefcase. Warren is thinking that Andy will be in therapy two days a week for the rest of his life. From the briefcase Andy takes a small Tupperware container. Inside are six strawberries. 
“Don’t give me the No Gifts thing,” says Andrew. “I go to work, I feel slimy. I visit Annie and it’s strawberry season.” 
Copyright © Debby Mayer

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Chapter 23 / Lipstick


“Nice wheels,” said Jaime, circling Annie’s new car. “What is it again?”

“A Lexus. Hop in, I’ll take you for a spin.” 

“Let’s go to Random Salad! I’ll get my wallet.”  

Annie adjusted the sunroof. She loved adjusting the sunroof, and she loved this perfect May day with air so sweet you could grab handfuls of it and everything in bloom, from the skunk cabbage in the swamps to the apple blossoms in the orchards. Chloe jumped into the front seat and Annie returned her to the back, carefully covered by Orvis, and gave her a dog biscuit to stay there. On a weekday off, she and Chloe had been looking for a friend to take along for the ride.
Imagine this in red

“It smells new,” said Jaime, inside the car. “I thought somebody died in this car.” 

“That was the Toyota pick-up. Father Paul has blessed Lipstick in case she had bad vibes. And she is practically new. It took three auctions, but she’s worth it.” 

“Five grand?

Annie nodded. “Someone else was bidding, but they dropped out at five.”

“I never thought I’d see you in a four-door sedan.” 

“I could trade it in for something else, but it has a standard shift and it’s red. I never thought I’d own a red car in my life. Plus the low mileage. A little old lady drug dealer must have owned it.” 

Pues. Did they have any Subaru Legacys?”

“That might be a stretch. But if you need a truck, they have lots of trucks. So, what’s the dirt?” 

“You have a boyfriend who bought you a car.” 

“—You’re kidding! People talk about this?” Annie felt herself start to flush.

“And your car is nicer than your bosses’. 

“Well, they can buy new ones!” 

Annie heard herself, defensive. When she had arrived at work last week, everyone had left the office to come look at her car. They had all just stood up and walked out—production first, then the ad guys, and finally editorial. They admired the gleam of the finish, the sunroof, the four cup holders. It had been another fine May day, and no one had gone inside until the phone rang. Tina had looked like a thundercloud.   

“Seriously,” said Jaime, “what’s the deal? How do you feel? Are you OK with this?”

“The deal is, there is no deal. He puts his money where his mouth is. He says, leasing a car is a bad idea. I will buy you a good car at an auction. It happens. 

“That’s the odd-feeling part. I have a problem. He solves it. Except for the damned cell phone, which never works. But he pays the bill. Or somebody pays the bill. A law firm in New York handles his money. I mean, they write his checks, so he won’t forget. I wish someone would write my checks.” 

“And this law firm was OK with his buying a car for some woman upstate.” 

“Apparently. I think if he had wanted to buy me a red Lamborghini there would have been a meeting. And perhaps a return to residential treatment. But five thousand bucks is well within the budget.”
Not purchased

“Well,” said Jaime. “Pues.” 

Pues indeed. Is he buying me? He doesn’t ask anything in return. Not anything that I wouldn’t give him anyway, even if I were leasing a car.” 

“You’re still not sleeping together?”

“No.” 

“Amazing . . . do you want to?”

“Almost. Physically, yes. Mentally, not yet.” 

“Are you both on meds? How do you divide them?”

“It’s been a tough eight months, Jaime. I’ve learned to wait and see what happens next. But speaking of sex, what did you want to tell me about Julia and Daniel?”

“She left him.” 

“I figured. But I couldn’t believe it.” 

Daniel and Julia and their two adorable red-haired children, still in the single digits, owned the produce farm north of Annie. Summers, Jaime worked part-time in their store, cashing out customers under the yellowing laminated newspaper feature on the “new family farm.”

“Yes. Said she needed more space.”

“Between her legs?”

“Sí. She’s got a guy. It’s depressing to work there. I’d bail out, but I can’t do that to him. He has to go on. He has the kids.”

They drove in silence for a minute. 

“Do you realize that all the produce farmers are breaking up?” said Annie.

Young or middle-aged, biodynamic, community supported, or just plain organic, they could not keep their marriages together.  

“Who else—oh, is it true about Laurence and Megan?”

“Yes. Catherine told me. She knows them.” 

“I never trusted him.” 

At the biodynamic complex, the Czech husband chucked his wife’s family company and compound, leaving her and their two blue-eyed, blond children to deal with her Catholic parents and the hundreds of farm shareholders who expected nuclear country life when they arrived in August for the annual harvest party in the fields and around the swimming pool. 

“And if you want to count Dutchess County, which I do,” said Annie, “Betsy finally left her husband.” 

The couple who owned the big farm—the real business farm, with a store that stayed open all winter selling shrink-wrapped cheese from 500 miles away—had broken up, she no longer able to tolerate his systematic unfaithfulness, even for the sake of their eight-year-old.

“He’s a jerk,” said Jaime. “She’s better off.”

“True. But I find this discouraging,” said Annie. “If raspberries and sweet corn and children can’t keep you together, what can?”

What was wrong in these gardens? Annie had expected these farmers, new and old, to be more, and better, with their ruddy skin, sun-bleached hair, their bodies uniformly thin and strong. 

“Farming is hard work,” said Jaime. 

“So is commuting on the Long Island Expressway to an office or running a newspaper, or a restaurant . . . though Katrina at The Dutch Inn does always look like she’s just eaten a bad oyster.” 

Jaime giggled. “Ed was divorced.” 

“But we’re not perfect. The farmers are perfect.” 

“Stop it. Charlotte is happy.” 

In her 50s, childless, Charlotte, proprietor of Random Salad, had, over the winter, harvested her husband of 25 years. “Michael and I are separated!” she had called cheerfully over the asparagus last week. 

“A little of this, a little of that,” she said, citing differing interests, growing apart. And Annie thought of Charlotte’s winter trips to Italy, Michael’s to Belize. “And he wouldn’t take care of himself when he got that virus last year,” said Charlotte.

“Granted, he was drunk sometimes during the day last summer, but what happened to ‘in sickness and in health’?” Annie asked as they pulled into the parking lot. 

“Annie, you’re such an idealist. And Charlotte’s not a farmer. She has the world’s best produce market, but she grows very little of it.” 

“Are you and Doc happy?”

“As much as anyone on earth. But it’s ‘a second marriage for both,’ remember. Sometimes you get it right.” 

“Thanks. I’ll hang onto that.” 

Copyright © 2014 Debby Mayer

Photos courtesy of Wikipedia


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Chapter 22 / Country Life


“There’s still snow here.” 
Andrew had paid the cab and stood in Annie’s driveway, looking around him at late April in the rural northeast.
“Just in the corners,” she said, “where it hasn’t melted yet.” 
Annie was letting Chloe re-meet Andrew outdoors. He stood still, hands in the pockets of his old tweed jacket, looking down at the dog, amused, while she thrust her nose into his ankle. 
He looked around again. “If we spread it out, it’ll melt faster.” 
“You don’t have to do chores.”  
“Chores are good, come on, the shovel’s in the garage?”
Andrew shoveled out the snow piles and Annie spread them with the rake. “What are those,” he would say, and Annie would say “crocuses.” “And those,” he said. 
“The daffodils are starting to come up,” she said. “Didn’t you have flowers in Kentucky?”
“Long ago and far away.” 
They did the front yard first—Nancy and Frank drove by with a wave—and then the north side of the house—which drew Inez and Tony, driving by with a wave. 
“Are your neighbors watching us with binoculars?” asked Andrew. 
“I think we have to conclude that.” 
“Keeping an eye out for your safety.” 
“That’s giving them the benefit of the doubt.”
In the backyard, Chloe nipped at the rake, thrilled with the activity. 
“Thank you, Andy, this is great. It’ll probably melt this afternoon.” 
“I know country life.” 
Right . . . but I forget, does it snow in the mountains of Cuscutlán?”
“No. It got damned cold, but it didn’t snow, the ground didn’t freeze. I know because I dug the latrines. I led the latrine team. And carried our one shovel.”
“Commendable . . . you miss it?”
“Every day.” 
He said it simply, factually, emphasizing each word equally, and without thinking she took his hand, even as Chloe pawed her, hard. Andy squeezed her hand, and still holding his, Annie reached down and picked up the dog on her right arm. 
“Don’t cry for me, Annie Sullivan. I did it then. I couldn’t do it now. If I wanted to.”
Pues . . . I’ve been meaning to ask you, Andrew, if you think of me as a project, you know, ten years ago you helped Cuscatlán, today you help Annie.”
“No! Not a project. You’re my friend, I . . . look after you . . . I think of you as my girlfriend, you know.”
“Your upstate girlfriend?”
“No, my girlfriend. I’m lucky to have one. What made you say that?”
Annie shrugged. “Insecurity.”
“Have you been researching me in the microfilm again?”
“No. I’ve been too busy, and I was afraid of what I would find. Why, what would I find?”
Andrew pretended to think for a second. “I don’t think you’d find anything else. I could check, but I’m too busy too. 
“Anyway, I take care of you, that’s all. I . . . make sure you’re OK. A new skill for me. A good one. Historically, people have had to take care of me—but I’m getting better at that. The job helps. It may be part-time, and I may work for peanuts, but I can organize my life around it.”
Annie made a point of looking right and left, like someone on stage, and then she stood on tiptoe and kissed Andrew’s cheek. 
He kissed her back. “You’d be a great mother, you know, swooping down to pick up the kid while you held my hand.” 
“No way! Let’s take a walk.” 
She had decided they would walk down the dirt road, the one on which she had lost, and then found, Chloe, rather than through the woods that Chloe loved. The road was rural without being isolated. It led past half-a-dozen houses, and then an abandoned farm with beautiful, falling-down buildings and finally to a broad view of the Catskill Mountains. 
“This is where Jethro disappeared,” she told Andy, indicating the woods road off the dirt road. 
“Do you think Ed swooped down and picked him up?”
“More likely a coyote. But yes, I like to think it was Ed.”
“What do people do who live around here?”
“Some are retired—Tony was a plumber. Some are weekenders. There’s a doctor and his wife, who’s a nurse. Marcia and Barry teach. Across the road from them is Tom, an electrician with aggressive Labradors. I hope they’re not outside.” 
“I thought Labradors were jolly.” 
“These are obnoxious.” 
And they were outdoors, the black and the yellow. Tom’s house was set well back and down an incline. The dogs came galloping up from the porch, barking, not joyful but menacing. Andrew and Annie stopped. 
“Will they come onto the road?” asked Andrew.
“I don’t know, I’ve never tested it.” Chloe strained at her lead, outweighed, outnumbered, and eager for a fight. “Dammit, I wanted to show you the view. It’s the one thing we have around here. I hate these dogs.” 
“The guy isn’t curious, doesn’t want to know what his dogs are barking at?”
“No. I turn around.” 
“Well, let’s see . . .” Andrew crossed the road. 
“I wouldn’t go farther Andy.” 
“I won’t.” Andrew put his fingers to his lips and emitted an ear-splitting whistle, a whistle that stopped cabs and dogs. In the ensuing second of silence, he said, “Go home!” The dogs started barking again. 
A slender young man came to the door, barefoot. “They’re friendly!” he called.
Annie waved. “Hi Tom!” 
“Hi Tom,” said Andy, projecting his voice over the barking. “Annie wants to show me the view. Just call the dogs while we walk by, OK?”
“Lucy! Ricky!” Tom called. The dogs paid no attention, galloping in circles near the edge of the road, barking. 
“And then we’ll be back in . . .” Andrew half-turned to Annie
“Twenty minutes,” she said. 
“Twenty minutes!” called Andrew. “We’re walking by again in twenty minutes.” He turned again toward Annie. “Walk,” he said quietly.
Chloe was now tangled in her leash. Annie picked her up and walked briskly, looking straight ahead. Andrew ambled on the dog side of the road, hands in his pockets, looking straight ahead. They had to go fifty yards, around a curve, before they were out of sight of the dogs, who stood in the middle of the road, watching them. 
“Damned unneighborly,” said Andrew. 
“Welcome to country life. I’m not supposed to pick up Chloe like that, it communicates my fear. But I’m terrified. Everybody hates those dogs. We all hope they’ll get hit by a car.” 
“Another reason to get my driver’s license.” 
The farm, with its acres of silence, settled her. The property began with wetlands, which were opening up for spring, and then offered acres of high grass. In the distance was a large, empty farmhouse; March’s blizzard had put a valley into the main roof. The barn, with its beautiful aged wood, its door hanging on one historic hinge, was near the road. 
“You don’t find this sad, Annie?”
“No, I find it peaceful. It used to be sad—the farmer drank and forgot to milk the cows, apparently, I’ve been told—that was years ago, before I got here. The couple who live in that white house over there—the hired man’s house—inherited the property. They don’t do anything with it except run after you with a shotgun if you put a toe on the land.” 
“You have great neighbors.” 
“I do, really—Nancy and Frank are terrific, and Inez and Tony are very kind. The rest of it is just normal country life. Greed, violence, depression. Teenagers setting fire to your shed if you don’t run after them with a shotgun.” 
“Where’s the view?”
“Right after the barn.”
Another curve, and the valley spread out before them, with the Catskill Mountains in the distance. In the clear afternoon, every tree stood crisp. Andrew took Annie’s free arm and put it through his, tightening them up, side by side. 
“Are you warm enough?” she asked. “You look like an Edward Gorey illustration, in your tweed blazer and turtleneck.”
“I am an Edward Gorey illustration,” he said. “What’s the dirty little secret to the view?”
“ . . . Clandestine chemistry. There’s no work over there, especially now that the farms are shutting down, but old farmhouses make great meth labs.”
“Excellent. American entrepreneurial spirit. But not in the farmhouse we just passed.” 
“Not with Bob and his shotgun.” 
“Can we walk all the way around, in a circle?”
“We can, but it’s miles. We’d get home after dark, and there are other dogs. There are always other dogs.” 
“OK, let’s face Lucy and Ricky.”
Lucy and Ricky were still furious, still barking, but indoors. 
“See,” said Andrew, as they got beyond the house, “working together we can postpone a problem.” 

At home, Annie cut a banana into the fruit salad she had made. 
“Don’t cook,” said Andrew. “I didn’t come here so that you could cook.” 
“Making a fruit salad isn’t cooking.” 
“Ed cooked.”
“He did. I made the fruit salad.” 
“You were a team—a good team.” 
“We were a team.” 
Annie had cleared the table of its layers of newspapers, but they agreed to eat outdoors; the yard faced west and still had sun. They sat on the edge of the deck, their legs stretched before them, their boot heels resting on the damp ground. The raked snow had all melted. They ate slowly, commenting on the fruit, which was still winter fruit—citrus, banana, kiwi, pineapple—but a first, Annie thought, since Christmas, that she had sat and done nothing but eat. Slowly.
“You never eat at home?” she asked Andrew. He had mentioned this weeks ago, in the context of something else, and she had been unable to forget it, turning it over in her mind ever since. 
“No,” he said. 
“Not ever? You never take the coffee can out of the refrigerator, put a couple of tablespoons into the French press . . .”
He was shaking his head. “The fridge is unplugged. I get the seven shirts back from the laundry, stack them on the shelf. It’s one of those little office fridges. Socks in the freezer. Is that disgusting?”
“Are you kidding? It’s marvelous.”
He lit a cigarette. “What else do you want to know?”
“Well, Andrew . . .” 
“Is your name Anna? Anita? Anne, with an e?”
“No. It’s Annie. I think my parents just couldn’t resist.” 
“Annie Sullivan. You will make people see.” 
“Oh, please . . .” 
“I interrupted you. You were saying  . . .” 
“Andrew . . . if you work part-time, where do you get all this money?”
He made himself look left, turning toward her so he could catch her eye. “Inherited wealth.” 
“Oh.” She ate her last spoonful of fruit. “What industry?”
“Tobacco.”  
Another silence. “You and Al Gore.” 
He nodded. “Two peas in a pod.” 

They stayed outdoors until the sun had gone behind the trees at the edge of the meadow and the air was starting to chill. 
“Play the piano for us while I feed Chloe.” 
“Do you know a tune called ‘rusty,’” he said, but he sat down at the piano. 
“The songs I have are easy.” 
“Someone has left ‘Stardust’ on the piano. Marked up, as if she had studied it. Not an easy song.”
He proceeded to play it slowly, gently, and almost perfectly. 
“You must play the piano somewhere.” 
“These days, in my head. When I’m not talking to you. And sometimes, if I eat dinner very late in a certain restaurant, they let me play while they clean up. They make requests, and I see if I know the song.” He was shuffling through the music on the piano. “Is there anything in this neighborhood that isn’t melancholy?”
“‘Skylark’ is there.”
“Here it is. You play it.”
Annie shook her head. “I haven’t played in months. I don’t have time for lessons, or practice.” 
He played a C scale. “The piano is in tune.”
“I had it tuned when I knew you were coming over.” 
He turned on the bench and regarded her with his pale blue eyes and flash of gold tooth. “Neighborly of you,” he said.
“I was hoping you would play it. I love hearing you playing the piano.” 
“In your head?”
“You were playing the Sunday after the blizzard, when I came in with Chloe.” 
“—That’s right. The piano wasn’t in tune then. But that made you happy?”
She nodded. 
“Then I’ll play anything you want. But sit here with me.”
She sat next to him on the piano bench. He played “Skylark” without a mistake and they sang along, pitching their voices—his baritone, her tenor—to each other’s perfectly.
“This is great,” said Andrew, “we can put together a cabaret act.”
“The Low-Register Lunatics.”
 “What else do you have . . . did you really learn all six parts of ‘Metamorphosis’?”
 “Yes. But Andrew, I should take you to the train.” 
“Shit . . . We’re living our whole life here. Can I take a later train?” 
“You have to go into the radio station tonight, right? Get ready for tomorrow?”
He slumped, like a kid, she thought, who wants to keep playing, and she was the mother.
“It makes you happy,” she reminded him.
“So does being here, playing the piano with you. I want everything! Don’t you?” 
“I have been criticized for wanting to live my whole life every day.”
“Who said that? I’ll . . . set some Labradors on them.”
“A well-focused poet, a long time ago. Can I bring Chloe? She’ll ride in her crate.” 
“You’re driving Annie. You tell me what you’re doing.” 
 “That reminds me.” Annie stopped moving, her jacket on, Chloe’s leash in her hand. “I wanted to thank you, again, for going to the car auction this week.” 
 “You’re welcome, darlin,’ glad to do it.” 
“But one thing . . .” 
“—Yes . . .” Andrew stopped his paring down of newspaper sections to look at her.
She looked back at him, aware she was perfecting her posture. “No SUV.” 
“They can be a good solid car, girl! You’d be able to see more than one bumper ahead of you.”
“They’re such a cliché around here.” 

Copyright © Debby Mayer